5 Hills a Lactation Consultant Will Die On

By Ali Weatherford

In this article, I resourced nothing but the feedback from our own amazing team of lactation consultants (IBCLCs). Combined, these women have decades of experience and so many years of education and hours of training. They see newly born families every day. The question I asked is, “After all you’ve learned and seen, what do you most want your clients to know?” What follows are their responses. 

Have No Tolerance for Pain

A good latch should not be painful. Pain is a signal to reassess, not something to push through. So many parents think that pain is just part of the deal. It really shouldn’t be. Pain might mean your baby’s latch is not correct, but there could be other causes of nipple pain. Lactation consultants see a lot of people for this issue, but even more often, they see people after more problems have occurred. They might find out that someone was experiencing nipple pain, but ignored it. That led to more problems that finally convinced them to seek help. It’s best not to tolerate nipple pain thinking it will go away on its own.  A lactation consultant will almost always be able to help you find a way to breastfeed without pain, possibly even preventing future problems.

Embrace Cluster Feeding

Cluster feeding is normal. It is not a sign that your body is not making enough milk. Cluster feeding needs to happen so that your milk supply can catch up to your baby’s growing needs. Lactation consultants want you to expect this in the first few days of your baby’s life, then again at 2-3 weeks of age, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. These are estimates. Your baby might be a little off, but the point is to recognize that there are milestones in growth and development that can initiate a period of cluster feeding. This is normal and should be expected. 

Try to embrace those milestones. It can be so hard to feel “stuck” breastfeeding your baby around the clock, but it’s necessary for growth and milk supply. You’re doing important work on those days, and you should feel proud of that accomplishment even though it might feel like you’re not getting anything done. You are. Try giving yourself some special treats on those days. Maybe you can reserve a special book or movies to watch while you’re feeding. Keep some special snacks on hand or ask a supportive partner to offer foot massages! 

Respond to Your Baby

You cannot spoil a newborn by responding to their needs. This is how trust and security are built. It is most definitely a myth that holding or responding to your baby too much will spoil them. There might be a little something to this much later on, but a newborn especially needs a very responsive parent. It helps you get a great start to breastfeeding, and also research shows that a lot of a person’s future success in relationships depends on the quality and type of attachment they develop with a primary caregiver in infancy. When a parent responds quickly and lovingly to their needs or to any signs of distress, the infant learns to trust. This is an important type of attachment. It allows them a safe haven to move into the world from, and a place to go back to. 

Checking for Anatomical Abnormalities

We will always advocate for proper assessment of oral function when breastfeeding problems occur. Tongue ties and other abnormalities can make a big difference. You shouldn’t have to figure this out alone. A lactation consultant can do an initial assessment of function. They can look and feel around the inside of your baby’s mouth. They can test the baby’s ability to create good suction and measure their strength. They can watch the baby breastfeed to see that all is working correctly. If after an assessment they suspect a problem, they will make recommendations for a follow-up with a specialist. 

Prioritize Yourself

The most important thing a lactation consultant wants you to know is that your success as a parent shoud never be measured in ounces or by what or how you’re feeding your baby. What matters most is that your baby gets fed, AND that you prioritize your mental health, rest, and nourishment. We believe that breast milk is wonderful, but we also know that your baby needs YOU the most. With a little help, most people can have it all. When breastfeeding is going well, it can actually make life with a baby easier for so many people. 

When breastfeeding is not going well, or when there are extenuating circumstances, it’s important to reassess. Is breastfeeding making life more difficult? Are problems with breastfeeding causing your mental health to diminish? Is breastfeeding keeping you from good health? If you have to answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, a lactation consultant can also help you find feeding alternatives that will allow you to prioritize your health. You are the foundation for your family. A strong foundation can support everyone else. 

References:

The importance of attachment in infant and influencing factors – PMC

Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome – PMC