How Will My Neurodivergence Affect My Newborn?
Published Date:April 21, 2026
By Ali Weatherford in consultation with Cassie Terrillion, IBCLC and Certified Neurodiversity Lactation Specialist
April is Autism Acceptance Month. We think this is a very important and relevant topic to discuss related to parenting. A rough estimate is that one in five adults are neurodivergent. Autism is included under this broader umbrella term. Some other diagnoses include ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, aphasia and stuttering, dysfunction with sensory processing and executive functioning, and nonverbal learning disabilities. Neurodivergence is not necessarily a deficit, but rather a difference. Neurodivergent people can experience great success, they just may need to take different steps to get there.
How Neurodivergence Affects New Parents
There are an infinite number of ways that neurodivergence might present added challenges for new parents. Pregnancy might be especially difficult because of the many physical changes and stresses that come up. Communicating with doctors and other care providers might be challenging. Organizing schedules around extra checkups, classes, and meetings can be a big obstacle for some. Considering birth and postpartum plans might feel very overwhelming. All of these situations and more might cause extreme stress and real hurdles, especially for people who are neurodivergent. There are a lot of new things to contend with during pregnancy.
Women are especially underdiagnosed because their symptoms can look very different. They might only discover that they have autism or other diagnosis in adulthood. A lot of times, parenthood can help to highlight those differences.
Some common challenges include those related to sensory sensitivity.
Some people will be highly sensitive. This could be related to physical touch, sounds, smells, visuals or even tastes. There is a lot of new sensory input in pregnancy and in birth. Babies also provide a new challenge. They can be loud, have some specific smells, and usually want to be held a lot. Highly sensitive people might feel overwhelmed, “touched out”, and need less stimulation.
Some people develop reduced sensitivity to certain things. The opposite can also be true under certain conditions. Someone who is neurodivergent might have an especially hard time noticing certain physical sensations or changes. They might struggle to notice the baby’s movement during pregnancy or whether they are feeling certain physical symptoms.
If you are neurodivergent, you’ve probably already learned some strategies to help you cope and thrive under normal circumstances. Pregnancy through parenthood brings up so many new experiences and challenges all at once, and it can really test your coping skills.
What You Can Do to Succeed
A good start is to recognize that you might have some added challenges, and pay close attention to the things you already know you need to do to maintain your equilibrium. Set yourself up early to face any challenges using your tried and tested strategies. Then be willing to consider adding some new strategies. These are some things that might be helpful along the way:
- First ask for help. You might have people in your life who know you well and would be happy to step in as an assistant. Ask someone to go with you to your appointments. Plan the visit with them ahead of time. They might be able to keep you feeling calm and just take some notes for you. They might also be able to step in and ask a list of questions you came up with before the appointment. And your helper might be able to pitch in in other ways too so you don’t get overwhelmed.
- Tell your provider. This is optional of course, but it might be helpful to let them know that you could have some special requests and why. This can include your doctor, midwife, nurse, doula, and anyone who will be supporting you. At Breastfeeding Success, our outpatient lactation team asks for this information on the intake form. This can help them understand that you might need some different support. Some of our team members have even undergone special training to become Certified Neurodiversity Lactation Specialists. Whenever possible, we’d love to match you with a lactation consultant that can help you best.
- Minimize Sensory Stimulation. Always keep in mind that lights can be dimmed, and noises can be minimized. You might even use head phones or ear plugs when you can’t control the noises. You can ask to be touched less whenever you need. Cervical exams can be optional. You can ask helpers to take turns holding your baby. You might even plan around breastfeeding times and ask someone to be there to take the baby after you finish feeding. If breastfeeding is especially difficult but you want to offer breast milk, a lactation consultant can help you find alternate feeding plans that might include less direct breastfeeding and more pumping and bottle feeding.
- Take Classes. Education can be very empowering for everyone, but maybe even especially for neurodivergent parents. When you can get an understanding of your body and your baby’s needs, it will help you feel more prepared. For many people, this means less stress and anxiety and more time to focus on your well-being.
It’s normal to need extra help during this season of life. The childbearing year is a transitional period and a rite of passage. It’s a huge undertaking for yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually, whether you identify as neurodivergent or not. But it’s so good to recognize that while everyone has a lot of new needs, yours may be a little different if you’re neurodivergent. I hope it’s helpful to know that this condition does not mean you can’t be incredibly successful and even excel as a parent. It might even end up being the thing that makes it so.
