How to Have a Positive Hospital Birth Experience

In the United States, 98% of births occur in hospitals. That’s a big majority! Some people choose to have a hospital birth because it’s where they feel most comfortable. There might be no doubt or hesitation that that’s the place to do it.

But others might give birth in the hospital because they don’t have another option, or for safety reasons or because of insurance constraints, even though they don’t feel all that comfortable in a hospital setting. This is not uncommon. Most people don’t go to the hospital under good circumstances. They may have had very difficult or even traumatic experiences in a hospital or at least some bad memories. Maybe they had an accident or illness that put them in the hospital. Maybe they witnessed a loved one going through something in the hospital, or maybe even witnessed the death of a loved one.

When this is true, the idea of giving birth in that setting can cause a lot of stress.

Why Your Birth Setting Matters

If you are dreading time in the hospital based on past experiences, know that you can make it better. It’s also important to consider that your environment matters a lot even if you don’t have any previous negative experiences in a hospital. Labor is a very hormonally driven bodily function. For optimal function, an optimal flow of hormones can help. The hormones that can keep labor moving most quickly and safely are ones that your body makes when you feel safe and relaxed. Stress hormones can actually interfere with the production of the labor hormones and can make labor take longer and be more complicated

Here are some tips to help you have a great hospital birth:

• Choose a facility that supports your preferences and has the resources you want. Some hospitals have ALL the resources, and others are more limited. For example, if you know you want to labor in the bath tub, that could limit your options quite a bit. There are more hospitals with tubs now, but you might have to look around.
• Choose a provider that encourages your preferences and makes you feel supported and comfortable. Even if your hospital is not something you can choose, you can most likely choose your provider. I do recommend interviewing more than one, especially if you don’t feel immediately comfortable at your first visit. It’s important to let them know what your preferences are and see how they respond. You might get a range of responses, and then you’ll be able to choose the one that makes you most comfortable.
• Do some childbirth education. This will help you feel more knowledgeable and confident. It should also help you understand what your options might be so that you can make decisions that feel right for you.
• Get a doula. There is plenty of research now showing the positive effects of doula care. A doula is not a medical care provider. They’re more a birth mentor and supporter of YOU. They should know a lot about birth and ways to help you learn, make decisions, and cope. Doula care has been shown to improve outcomes, and also patient satisfaction wherever you decide to give birth.
• Put a sign on your door letting people know the mood you’re in. This is most important if you need some privacy. Sometimes, the number of visits to your room by virtual strangers can put a damper on your mood and flow of labor. If you suspect this is happening, it’s most likely fine to ask not to be interrupted unless absolutely necessary.
• Go into your bathroom “cave” for privacy and quiet if it’s hard to get. So many times, people feel overwhelmed and exhausted only to feel much better when they escape to the bathroom to use the toilet. If that’s the case, it’s ok to hang out there if you need to! It can be hard to be constantly watched, and a bathroom tends to be a place where people are willing to give you a little more privacy.
• Create an “atmosphere” that helps you stay relaxed and comfortable. You can bring things from home to make your hospital room feel more cozy or comfortable. You might even be able to forget where you are! Here are some things I like to recommend:
  • Battery powered candles, lamps, night lights, or string lights if you like cozier or dimmer lighting. String lights can also be the plugin kind, but they’re sometimes more bright and it might not be easy to find an open outlet.
  • Scarfs or sofa blankets can be great to drape over “ugly” things in the room that you might not like the looks of.
  • Framed pictures can really help. Maybe you have a great vacation picture or picture of your dog that you love to look at.
  • You can bring pieces of art or crafted items that make you feel like you’re at home or just more calm and peaceful.
  • Aromatherapy can make a big difference. I like to recommend using essential oils to change the smells in your room. Many hospitals now have diffusers for essential oils, but you can also just put a drop on your pillow or on a tissue. Find smells that make you feel relaxed.
  • Birth affirmations written down, painted, or printed artfully can be a great addition to your room. I have some favorite birth affirmations designed, printed, and framed in my doula bag! It can be very relaxing to look around the room and see your favorite birth affirmations.
  • Play music or your favorite relaxing sounds on a speaker.
• Make a birth plan and be sure to share it during admission to the hospital (triage). You can even ask to be assigned a nurse that likes to support your kind of birth plan. When you make a good match from the beginning, it can help things continue more smoothly.
• Let people help you. Sometimes people really do benefit from being left alone during labor, but often there is something that other people can do to help. It might be a certain kind of touch that makes all the difference, or even just letting someone remind you that you’re OK and that your baby is coming soon. Also, be willing to take suggestions from your nurses or doula. Sometimes unexpected things can make a big difference.
• Use the B.R.A.I.N. tool for decision making. It can be scary when something unexpected happens and you’re faced with a decision about what to do next. You might not feel prepared to make a decision, and then just let other people make decisions for you. This might be fine, but sometimes people have regrets later. This memory device can help you if you need to make a quick decision.
  • B = Ask about the Benefits of the recommended intervention.
  • R = Ask about the Risks.
  • A = Ask about Alternatives!
  • I = Check in with your Intuition. It’s often really smart, and is your brain’s way of making a customized decision for you.
  • N = It’s usually OK to just ask about doing Nothing. You probably have some time to just wait and see. Ask how long.
• Stay flexible. This is really important. Sometimes things really do need to change course for safety or even just because you feel differently. You might be exhausted or really anxious, and neither of those things are helpful in birth. If you can be educated, present, flexible, and ready to make a change when it’s needed, you’ll probably end up feeling like you had a good experience even if things don’t go according to plan.

A hospital birth can be a great experience, even if you don’t like hospitals. You have a lot of control, and can take charge of making things feel good for you. This is your very special experience, and this is your body. You are not going to be there as a sick or injured patient. You are there as a strong and capable pregnant person ready to allow your body to GIVE birth. Always remember that.